Idiot Kings

One could argue that the frequent occurrence of slow drivers in the left lane is a mild annoyance; however, I argue that it is proof that Mankind is its own worst enemy.  These "false passers" account for (I'm ballparking) 10-15% of the cars on the road today and to a young American male that's too goddamn much to ignore.

Having never done a study on this subject, or Googled it, I believe there are two reasons why this phenomenon even exists: these drivers could be completely ignorant of their choice and how it reflects on the vehicular dynamics around them, or they actively yet inaccurately believe that they are not of the "slower traffic" category.  My girlfriend believes in the former explanation, saying that I'm giving these numbskulls too much credit for even making a decision in the first place.  Whatever the case, they're no good.

In the first explanation we see the irresponsible danger of ignorance - when rolling a thousand-pound hunk of metal containing their meatbag loved ones at 110 feet per second you'd think the driver of said vehicle would take into account not only their position on the road but also the position of all the other speeding deathtraps in the vicinity, right?  Apparently, hell no - the rear view mirror is apparently a useless tool to these morons.  Why would you think to look behind you when you're moseying down the lane specifically reserved for the opposite of moseying, right?   It kind of saddens me to see how ignorance today has lost its lethal repercussions, and when someone does get hurt it's usually a bystander and not the bonehead themselves.

These are the same people who think it's alright to stop in the middle of an open doorway to fix their hair, or take an ill-timed left turn over 4 lanes of oncoming traffic so they can get to the one Del Taco entrance they can see.  They exist only to get in the way of others.

This ignorance can be just as harmful if not more so than active malice.  Ignorance requires the least amount of energy to perform and interrupts the progress of those behind and around you in an unexpected way.  Whereas an agent of opposition would sabotage your goal in life in a focused fashion (i.e. destroying your laboratory, stealing your work, or taking credit for your accomplishments), the ignorant obstacle has no rhyme or reason to its harmful effects - in the highway context the false passer can swerve equally left or right, speed up or slow down, or do any combination of stupid moves.  It's not only the obstacle but the unpredictability of it that's the pain in the ass.

The ones who actively proclaim themselves as passers and yet do not pass are guilty of false pride; they assume a position yet do not maintain its requirements.  In any occupation a base amount of specific work must be done in order to justify the respective title; a cashier must press buttons, a politician must engage, a king must lead.  False passers do nothing different than those who stay in the right lane yet they expect the title of a left-lane driver.  On the American highway a left-lane driver is considered a superior position - our country idolizes rebels, wild men, speed freaks, and daredevils so we grow up thinking that all cars are race cars that must reach their destination before the others, and all families inside those cars are the most important cargo on the road.  There is no humility or desire for efficiency within these passive winners, there is only ego and a false sense of entitlement.  Hey, I'd even be cool with that if it led to some kind of productivity - like the mafia - but when it only exacerbates an already idiotic situation then I not only lose respect for these sinners but feel like they should be drawn aware of their flaw ... with my fists.

What also annoys me in the specific case of false passers on the road is the brutal simplicity of the conflict; from a binary standpoint there are only two options of existence, that of 1 (yes, I can pass) and 0 (no, there is no opening in which to pass).  A false passer constitutes a 0, a no in the ability for me, behind them, to advance down the road at the speed I want to.  All I can do to change my situation is either ride their ass so that they notice me and move over, or pass them on the right and move on.  The first option changes my speed, requires more attention, and is typically unreliable so I usually opt for the second option.  However, not only is there still the option of a 1 or 0 in that lane, but there's an increased chance of 0 due to the truck traffic that makes it a rule to occupy said lane.  So, not only is it a consistently ill-favored conflict to overcome but it is one with no with no other way of solving it - there is no creative third option that would at least entertain the problem-solving portion of the brain.  There is nothing you can do to increase the odds of passing these left lane lazies.

Whatever the reason, this is more than just bad highway manners; by getting in the way of each other's progress humanity is, well, doomed to never achieve its potential.  Nobody is working towards a singular goal, we exist only as negative influences on each other.

You might be asking how, and if, this relates to Love in the Time of Monsters - the thing is I do some of my best thinking in the car, especially on long trips through the desert.  When I drove to Tucson and back this weekend I let the ocean of my mind wash over all the notes from the script revisions in hopes that new scenes, dialogue, and character development would emerge as shiny gems on the beach of, I don't know, let's say my consciousness.  However, for every false passer that got in my way over the 15 hour trip my thought process got interrupted in order to deal with this boring obstacle, which in turn took valuable time and brainpower away from the LitToM revisions.  It seems such a simple, mild annoyance but when it's a) frequent, b) potentially life-threatening, and c) tedious to overcome, it just wastes my time that should be spent thinking of how to improve an already awesome piece of work.

So, that's why I haven't done any more work on the script revisions.

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